The Steamy Arc of Emotions

Do you struggle to write intimacy in your romance novels? 

Are you searching for a place to put the love scene because you know it's expected?

When you get there is it all insert Tab A into Slot B?

Have you also heard readers say, Oh I just skip the sex scenes in books?

Your love scenes should be integral to the plot. Otherwise its just description that readers will gloss over to get back to the important action. 

There was a great twitter thread of Facebook post going around the inter webs where a reader said they skipped the sex scene in Julia Quinn's "The Duke and I" Book 1 in Bridgeton. Only to realize it was integral to the plot and she had to go back and read it to understand what all the hubbub was about.

Please note I'm not saying your sex scenes should be controversial. 

I am saying they should be integral to the story.

HOW DO YOU MAKE YOUR SEX SCENE INTEGRAL TO THE PLOT?

We talked about the 12 pacing points. It's my opinion that Sex scenes are almost always scenes of Growth, a Regroup, or a Setback.

Let's recap pacing.

In the setUp, we introduce Main Characters, the world, and make them EMPATHETIC.

Next you explore the characters' WANT/NEED. All characters have goals. Sometimes they know exactly what they need to get that goal. Other times they bumble around trying to get what they want until they figure out what they truly need

Once they figure out what they're after, they make a PLAN. As soon as want dialogue is sounded, the character makes a plan (even if that plan is to not do anything, it's still a plan) and they take the first step.

Up next is the OBSTACLE. There are four types of obstacles you can throw in their way. We'll discuss those soon.

After confront the obstacle, the characters has GROWTH. There's a scene of reaction to making ground towards towards their goal or stumbling as they  take a misstep.

As they take this step or misstep forward, they're faced with a SETBACK or FALSE VICTORY This scene is all about the fall out of the obstacle. Did they advance with a False Victory that looks like a win? Did they have a Set Back and are now rethinking things?

Finally, your character will need to REGROUP and determine if they're they going to continue with the plan or are they going to make adjustments.

We are primarily concerned about those last three (Growth, Setback/False Victory, and Regroup) because it's in those last three that characters tend to grow, learn, and evolve emotionally.

If we're going to talk about sex scenes we need a non TV rated quintessential text. Eeenie Meanie Minnie Moe, I choose "Fifty Shades of Grey."

"Fifty Shades" is an erotic romance about the sexual awakening of Anastasia Steele who falls in love with a sexual Dominant and enters his world of BDSM.

The SETUP is Ana interviewing Christian Grey for her college newspaper. Both of their interests in each other becomes clear. But it's also clear that Ana's WANT is for a traditional relationship with this man, which is not what she's going to get. She's really following along with his PLAN as he pursues her and tries to convince her to contractually become his sexual submissive. The first OBSTACLE the couple encounters is -gasp- Ana's virginity.

GROWTH

In the scene of growth after learning about her V-card, Christian is beside himself. He just showed her his red room of pain with all the toys and chains.

His reaction to that obstacle is to have vanilla sex with her in his bed.

The scene goes straight to the hero's wound of not being lovable and needing to be in control at all turns. He gives up some of his clearly rules and boundary lines to accommodate her. We're chipping away at his reasons against falling in love and this love scene, where it is (in his bedroom, not the playroom) and how he's doing it (missionary with her hands free) it's showing that change is afoot.

It's Growth for both of them and it's not skippable in order to understand the next part of the story and how the characters react.

SETBACK

In general, if one of the character gives up the goods and then there's a problem (internal or external) then it's likely a scene set for a Set Back.

In "Fifty Shades," there's more obstacles happening in other subplots with these two. But we're primarily interested in the banging scenes. The next banging scene happens after shortly after Ana wakes up from the first love scene. She finds Christian in the main room playing a sad song on the grand piano.

She reaches for him, thinking they're closer after her first sexual experience. He dodges her attempts at an embrace and instead lifts her up to bang her again.

This is a False Victory. She thought she won because she thought they were closer. It's false because she's not getting the emotion she's hoping for from him because right now, he's still incapable.

Now in the movie, we don't see much of the actual banging go down in this scene. But think about how you'd write this to show that he's trying to pull away and put boundaries between them. 

-Think location: instead of going back to the bedroom, he might take her to his playroom which is his controlled environment.

-Think sexual position: it was missionary for her first time, maybe he embraces her from the back to avoid any eye contact or kissing.

This would be a great place to skip over a few levels of the 12 stages of intimacy, which we'll talk about next. But the 12 stages show how intimacy moves from eye to eye, hand to hand, mouth to mouth, on downward and ending at genitals to genitals at the 12^th spot. In the first love scene Christian hit all of these levels. What if, he skipped a few in this next go around. That would be a clear sign that something is off and his character is going down a different direction than Ana.

REGROUP

The next pacing point, is the Regroup where characters reflect on what their path so far and either recommit to their forward trajectory, or they make a new plan of attack.

In "Fifty Shades," it's a few days and scenes before our lovers get back between the sheets. Before they do, we come back to the Sex Contract subplot. Christian has left Ana with the contract to review. He's sent her links and keywords to study about his lifestyle. 

Ana is doing her due diligence, but she's not always liking what she sees about the BDSM lifestyle. Christian is pressuring Ana to sign the contract to make her his submissive via email messages. 

At one point Ana sends him the message "It's been nice knowing you." 

Christian takes this as rejection and comes to her house with seduction in mind.

He binds her. Blindfolds her. And has rough sex with her in her bedroom. When she still won't sign the contract, he leaves.

That's not the last of it. Not their last obstacle. Not their last sex scene. But it's a start in their Try Fail Cycle and we can already see both of them having an emotional arc that looks a bit more like a roller coaster. They each have changed at this point in the story, and we're not even at the midpoint yet.

Remember, there are Try Fail Cycles in Fiction. You have more than one Obstacle-Growth-Regroup-Setback. So maybe the first love scene is Growth in a TFC. Then maybe there's another in the Regroup in another TFC. And a final in the Setback before the major Confrontation which is the last Obstacle before Act 3 begins.

Work in your character's wounds and their goals into these scenes. 

Use the location or setting to help illustrate the level of intimacy.

Use the sexual position or particular act to indicate your character's motivations in the scenes.

Doing all this will help you truly give your readers a wild ride!

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You can find out more about Writing Sweet or Writing Dirty in my courses at ineswrites.com/writingsweet or ineswrites.com/writingdirty 

Happy writing,

Ines